What If Loneliness Begins Before You Feel Lonely?
Loneliness doesn’t always begin when there is no one around. Sometimes it begins much earlier, while life is still busy and full of people.
For many responsibility-driven women, it can begin with a series of perfectly reasonable decisions. Mom needs help getting to an appointment, so lunch with a friend gets postponed. Work is demanding, so the weekly walking group gets skipped. A spouse needs more attention, the kids need something, and there are financial decisions that can’t be ignored. Nothing seems especially concerning by itself. You’re simply taking care of what needs to be done.
But responsibilities have a way of crowding out relationships that don’t seem urgent. The problem is that those relationships may become crucial later. By the time you recognize how small your circle has become, rebuilding it can be harder than maintaining it would have been.
This is why I believe community belongs in the conversation about preparing for your next season of life. We prepare financially because we know circumstances change. Why wouldn’t we prepare relationally for the same reason?
That doesn’t mean collecting contacts in case you someday need favors. Real community isn’t transactional. It means continuing to invest in people, conversations, and relationships that enrich life now while also creating connection for whatever comes later.
Ideally, community includes those who can sit beside you when life gets difficult. But not everyone has that. A meaningful conversation with someone hundreds of miles away can still provide perspective, encouragement, and the reassurance that you don’t have to figure everything out by yourself.
The question, then, isn’t simply, “Am I lonely?” A better question may be, “Am I building the relationships I want around me five or ten years from now?”
That question challenges your assumptions about the rest of your life.
One key insight: Isolation often develops gradually as responsibilities crowd relationships out of our lives.
One memorable takeaway: Don’t wait until you feel lonely to start building the community you’ll want later.
Discover why preparation begins with community.
AI Disclosure
I use AI for DRAFTING messages and articles. Some drafts require little editing on my part; others I trash and rewrite. I wrote with em-dashes (—) long before AI turned them into telltale “I smell AI.” Now I find myself avoiding the em-dash even if I naturally would've used it. It’s the world we live in. Regardless, what you read does reflect my Point of View.
HOMESCHOOLING: Haven or Havoc?
Your child's school years are precious and fleeting.
Now could be your best time to step up where your school is letting your child down. Let this series of myth-busting short chapters encourage you.
2 Major Mistakes
Which one will you make?
Which of these 2 retirement mistakes are you making right now? It's impossible to entirely avoid both mistakes.
You won't know for sure which mistake will work out better for you until it's too late.
How to choose?
Finding the Will
(Part 1)
Part 1: Have the will to arrange for a smooth transition when you’re no longer around to answer questions
Have the will to arrange for a smooth transition when you’re no longer around to answer questions (Part 1)
Ensuring your children or other Loved Ones can readily access your important papers when you die entails a sound process versus one or two conversations. You must overcome aversion to the subject of death, procrastination of anything that is long-term, and the tendency to assume things will be fine. Family dynamics can be sweet, spicy, or dicey.
Finding the Will
(Part 2)
Part 2: Getting Organized
While the internet permits convenient access to accounts, policies, and stored documents, it presents a plethora of password management problems. which too many people avoid by succumbing to password laziness, such as:
- re-using passwords for multiple logins, or
- use simple, easy to remember passwords, or
- writing them on sticky notes placed on their monitor or under their keyboard, or
- keeping them in a spreadsheet on their computer, or
- letting their browser remember passwords for them
Embrace Your Clarence
Is Clarence your future?
Golden insight from a golden retriever.
Post-Pandemic W.E.L.L.ness
Working, Earning, Learning, and Launching to Thrive
Where life drastically changed forever two years ago, everyone adjusted to the best of their abilities.
Here are a few of the key adjustments--"pandemic pivots"--that sustained some and prospered others.
Prenuptial Adulting
Equip Them for Happily Ever After
“Mom, Dad, we’re getting married!"
“Wonderful, congratulations! Here’s what you both need to do first.”
Equipping newlyweds with essentials of responsibility leaves plenty of life yet to be discovered on their own. Adults understand that love isn’t oogly feelings; it’s a hard choice. It’s putting your commitments and your money where your mouth is.
Many of the following steps also apply to one’s turning 18 years old. Becoming engaged adds urgency and a deadline.
Rethinking Competing Funds for College and Retirement
We live in a time of skyrocketing inflation topping decades of unbridled higher education costs.
Is the tension between funding your retirement and funding (at least partially) your children’s college education keeping you up at night?
You’re not alone.
Married? Is Your Endgame 100% or Just 50%?
Are you single? That other 50% could be whoever is most important to you.
Multiple unforgiving players factor into your retirement and estate plans (collectively your “endgame”). Household names include the Internal Revenue Service, the Social Security Administration, and the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Key decisions with these players are nearly impossible to reverse. Plus, if you qualify for a pension, how you activate it is another irreversible decision.
Are you more of a planner than your spouse? It’s all too common for one spouse to blindly trust the planning spouse. Countless endgame “plans” were created by 50% of a couple:
